With the holidays upon us, let’s talk about stuffing.
I’m not referring to that bready filling. I’m talking about all the stuff we stuff down on the holidays…feelings, anxiety, anger, stress…
Because if we don’t, then what we are stuffing down will take us to the stuffing…or to the tv…or to the alcohol…or any addiction, obsession or self-sabotaging pattern for that matter.
This is incongruence in action.
Here’s how it works: Let’s say, a feeling comes up. Maybe it’s loneliness, or anger or not even knowing what you’re feeling because the anxiety is so intense.
Then let’s say you tell yourself “stop being so sensitive” or “just let it go” or “get over it” or something equally invalidating and devaluing to your experience.
As soon as this happens, and your mind places a hierarchy over your feelings and core experience it shuts down your connection to you.
Your heart gets covered by layers of blame, resentment and fear, your gut instinct is replaced with self doubt and you become fragmented – compartmentalized.
Your wholeness become a “hole-ness” – and you feel like something is missing or isn’t quite right.
It’s in this state of “hole-ness” where addictions show up. Addiction tries to get us reconnected to ourselves – out of the anxiety, or fear or inauthenticity – and back to a state of being comfortable in our own skin.
The problem is that with addiction, while we may get a moment of ease and comfort, that ease and comfort is soon followed by guilt, shame, judgement, pain and a host of other experiences that thrust us into deeper incongruence and disconnection.
Then, finding ourselves disconnected and empty again, we go back to the addiction for more ease and comfort. It’s a vicious cycle.
So how do we break this cycle and get free?
Well for one, we stop stuffing – on holidays and in every day.
Instead we learn how to take care of ourselves by honoring our truth and taking responsibility for our experience.
Honoring your truth and taking responsibility for your experience doesn’t mean that you take everything personally, verbally vomit your vitriol on others or feel responsible for everything and run around trying to control and manage everything.
Honoring you truth and taking responsibility for your experience means that you own what is yours you don’t take on what isn’t, and you honor your yes and your no.
If you want to know more about exactly how to do that, then check out this video I recorded this week called how to not get caught up in other people’s stuff so you can have more peace during the holidays.
In it, I pack in tons of tools that I use personally to keep me feeling free and filled up on the really yummy stuff – like meaningful connection, friendship and fun.
Wherever your holiday plans take you this season, may you feast on gratitude, savor every conversation and fill yourself up with loads of pleasure, playfulness and peace.
Here’s to an authentically Happy Thanksgiving.
In dedication of all things raw, real and recovered,
p.s. Speaking of being authentic…check out this video of the Shine Your Light Jewelry Collection with the gemstones to help you to be authentic, speak up and stop playing small so you can shine your light!