“I just want to get things under control so I can be free.” That’s what a woman recently said to me.
Have you ever thought something similar? Wanting to figure out how to get things under control so you can stop sabotaging yourself and start feeling more freedom, alignment and congruence?
I hear this all the time from smart women.
But here’s the thing I’ve discovered from helping so many women get free:
Getting things under control doesn’t lead to freedom, alignment or congruence.
In fact, it blocks it.
Here’s why. The part of our mind that wants to get control is the part of our mind that is terrified of not getting what we need or losing what we have and fears the opposite of control, which it assumes is being out of control.
Being out of control, for this part of our mind, means being unsafe, defenseless, weak, helpless, doing things and not being able to stop, being dangerous to yourself and others, losing everything and pretty much winding up dead or wanting to be.
With that prognosis, who wouldn’t want to get things under control?
But here’s the thing, the opposite of control isn’t being out of control.
The opposite of control is trust.
Trust. Trust that you’re going to be ok. Trust that it’s going to be ok. Trust that you’re getting exactly what you need. Trust that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Just trust.
When you trust, your whole nervous system calms down, anxiety and overwhelm go away and you’re able to respond to the world instead of react to it.
You also tap into more courage to put yourself out there and confidence in your choices.
Trusting also gives you more time and energy because you’re not running around trying to fix and manage everything all the time. Life feels easier and you are less stressed.
Sounds great, right?
So why don’t we do it?
Why do we often default to control and trying to figure everything out when our intention is to trust and just let go???
One reason is because trusting requires us to let go absolutely BEFORE you actually get the guidance, direction and sense of ease.
That means you need to free fall into the “I-don’t-know” without any guarantee that it’s all going to work out.
This is where a lot of women get stuck. We want to know what comes next before we trust. We want to have absolute certainty, see what’s around the corner and know we’re not going to fail before we’re willing to let go and trust.
Call this programming. Call it PTSD. Whatever you call it, this patterns of “I’ll-trust-fully-when-I-know-
If you recognize yourself in that pattern, don’t worry I used to be the exact same way. It’s super common amongst women who are on a spiritual path and have already worked on themselves for years.
That’s why I recorded this video called How To Let Go which you can watch by clicking this link.
In it, I share the 3 aspects of letting go that have allowed me and the women I’ve helped to feel safe in the “I-don’t-know”, live by trust and find our new footing guided by inspired intuition.
In dedication of all of you,
xoDeb