Tell me if you’ve ever had thoughts like this…

I’ll just do this crazy diet thing until I lose the weight.

If I can just stay away from sugar then I’ll be fine.

I just need to get my portions under control.

If you have, trust me, I totally get it. These were things I used to think too. Until I discovered that none of them led to actual freedom from food addiction.

It kills me to see so many men and women suffering from the same misconceptions I had and staying stuck in the bingeing and obsession cycle.

Which is why l went live on Facebook last Friday to bust 5 Myths About Food Addiction.

You can watch the video on my Facebook page here.

Myth #5, “that if you don’t have a problem in other peoples eyesyou don’t have a problem,” used to get me all twisted up inside.

I felt totally misunderstood and invalidated on the one hand, and still completely obsessive and not normal around food on the other.

It completely messed with my head and made me even more embarrassed and impatient with myself.

Check out all 5 Myths and let me know if you can relate.

One thing I’ve noticed over the years of helping folks get free from food addiction is that, more than anything, what keeps us stuck is trying to fix a problem we don’t fully understand, and doing it with an insufficient, incomplete or downright incorrect approach.

This is what keeps us perpetually in the problem and not believing freedom is possible for us.

Here’s the truth, freedom is possible.

It just isn’t going to come from applying the mainstream strategies that so many others tout. (Others who don’t struggle with not being able to stop once they start eating or eating when they aren’t hungry.)

That’s why I’m so passionate about sharing the real solution to lasting freedom from food. Because that was me. And just like you, I was trying all the things I thought I “should” be doing and feeling stuck.

So I hope this video is as validating for you as was recognizing these common beliefs myths were for me.

And I’d love to hear what you resonated with the most.

If that sounds like something you’d like too, then hit reply to this email, or just click here to access my email and I look forward to connecting more with you soon.

Growing up, I remember two primary emotions in our household: Anxiety and anger. It was normal to have full-blown screaming matches that could wake up the neighbors, and I was no exception. I could rant with the best of them.

But when it came to the softer stuff, like sensing my own sadness or recognizing my deep loneliness or knowing I needed a hug, I didn’t have a clue.

Instead, I would just feel anxious, uncomfortable or misunderstood.

And that would lead me to food.

…or to stuffing my feelings and stewing in resentment.

…or to obsessing and trying to fix myself.

Or to all of the above!

Do you relate to any of this?

If you do, or if you’ve struggled in your own way with feeling and expressing emotions, then you might find last Friday’s Facebook Live “How To Feel Safe Feeling” helpful.

In it, I revealed:

• Why so many of us have a hard time feeling our feelings. (There’s more to it than you may think!)
• 3 insider strategies to start feeling safe feeling now

You can watch the video on my business Facebook page here.

Or catch it on Youtube right here.

Whether you struggle with hyper-sensitivity and stuffing feelings or not even knowing what they are, there will be some nuggets for you in this video because whatever end of the spectrum you fall on, it’s all a part of the same pattern.

If feeling or expressing your feelings is a particular challenge, I want to tell you about Kaitlin.

Kaitlin joined the Freedom Embodied Academy a few months ago so she could stop self-medicating with food, get unstuck in her business and finally feel comfortable feeling her emotions, after decades of being blocked.

Within a few short months, Kaitlin had gotten all three – freedom from the food, on fire in her business and, to use her words, “100% comfortable in my skin and finally able to sit with my feelings.”

Knowing Kaitlin, she would want you to know that she didn’t have some secret trick that you don’t possess. She was just really ready for a change. So when she saw a solution to her problem that resonated for her, she dove in with both feet and showed up fully.

If you find yourself in the same place – really ready for a change, and willing to dive in and show up fully, rest assured that you are already on your path to having exactly that ❤️️

I remember standing in the cold on the sidelines of a soccer field (wearing the shorts that rode up in the middle when I walked), watching my lithe nine and ten-year-old teammates kick and cavort up and down the field – feeling a world apart from them.

I was so uncomfortable in my shorts I wanted to crawl out of my skin with shame.

I was so self conscious that I felt stupid with every word that came out of my mouth.
I was so awk
ward I didn’t know how to act in order to win over the most popular girls.

I felt like an alien.

What’s WRONG with me?

Something about me just didn’t fit with others.

This wasn’t super obvious from the outside. From the outside I was friendly and positive. But inside was another story. Inside I felt different. Separate. Like I just didn’t belong.

This wasn’t just how I felt as a kid. Not belonging chased me for decades.
It took me years to discover what had me feeling that way, and a few more to discover what it takes to truly feel a sense of belonging.

This is what I want to share with you. Because it’s not just about being more social, like we’re told.

And because over the last decade of helping men and women get free from food and other addictions, the one thing I’ve seen time and time again, is that the feeling of being different and of not belonging is perhaps, ironically, the most common quality we all share.

That’s right. Pretty much everyone thinks they are the odd one out.
Which is why I want to share with you the 3 things I needed to do in order to truly cultivate a deep sense of belonging.

I needed to:

Cultivate an authentic connection inside of my body – This wasn’t just about exercise or eating right. Feeling a true sense of belonging required me to learn how to feel at home in my skin. And as someone perpetually up in her head, this was no small feat. But once I learned what it takes, I discovered that coming home inside my body was the missing piece to so much of my alienation and sense of separation. It was truly the most intimate and memorable homecoming of my entire life.

Cultivate an authentic connection inside of a sisterhood – I’m not just talking about having more friends on Facebook. I’m talking about having a solid tribe of sisters who you can be real with. The kind of women who hold you and love you through the thick of things. Who get you, who you can build deep, meaningful friendships with and who can remind you that you are not alone when you forget.

Cultivate an authentic connection inside of Source – I’m not just referring to believing in Spirit or in having spiritual philosophies and speaking in spiritual slogans. I’m talking about real, true, gritty spiritual reliance. Where regardless of what’s going on in and around you, there is a deep unwavering sense inside that you are infinitely supported and going to be ok no matter what. (Up until this point, I used to have this feeling of not being ok and not knowing why. People irritated and annoyed me. I’d get impatient and constantly felt misunderstood.) Learning the art of Source-reliance led me to discovered a newfound sense of belonging within myself and within life itself.

Looking back, I would have loved to whisper words of encouragement to that awkward nine year old at the soccer field that day. I wonder how life would have turned out. But because we can’t rewind time, I’d like to say to you now what I would have told her:

You are amazing. Every unique aspect of you is priceless. You have more depth, wisdom and courage than you could ever imagine. What lies inside you is infinite. You are inherently worthy. Every piece of you matters. I’m so glad you’re here. You belong.

Here’s to more people on the planet not longer thinking that they don’t belong on it.

Here’s to embracing ALL of your parts (even the parts that don’t like parts of you).

Here’s to standing in your glorious brilliance.

And here’s to forever knowing deep down that you belong.

I want you to meet Janet. She’s been doing work on herself for over 30 years, but last week when we spoke, she was still stuck in her addictions. 

“I don’t think this will ever change, Deb. I think I’m just too messed up – damaged good.” 

I’ve known Janet for many years, so knew I could be frank: 

“Well, you’re right. Nothing IS going to change. But it’s not because you’re damaged goods. It’s because you’re stuck in your story.”

Over the years, I’ve realized that more than any other addiction, the toughest one for us to get free from is our addiction to our own story – the story of who we think we are, the story of how we think it is, the story of what we think we need… 

This is because it’s so interwoven into every aspect of our identity. We don’t even see it as an addiction. For us, it’s just “how it is.”

The problem with seeing things in terms of “this is just how it is” is that our prejudices, biases and opinions block our ability to have a new experience. 

So even if you want a new level of freedom, the story you have about how things are or about what is (or isn’t) possible will block you from it.

Which is why yesterday, I hopped into the Congruence Collective Facebook Group to share some insider insights that can free you from the addiction to your story, and blast you through to a new level of freedom. 

Click here to watch. 

(If you’re not a  Congruence Collective Insider already, click here to join us for free)

When I shared with Janet the very same insights I share with you in this video, it changed her life. 

And, I can understand why. These insights continue to change mine daily. Which is why I want you having this awareness. 

Click here to watch the video and get the secret to getting unstuck and having a new level of freedom. And then hit reply to this email, and let me know if you relate.

The first time I got the awareness about what was keeping me stuck and saw the stories that had been owning me and running my life for over 30 years, lots came up for me that I needed to process. That might happen for you too. Which is why I’m opening up my calendar to you if you’d like to get some clarity and support around what came up and where to go from here. Click here to schedule a call with me. ❤️